I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
