I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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