Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
