Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
