she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize