Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
