I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
