Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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