Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize