I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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