Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
