You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
