i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Apparently you make a good broom.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
