Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
