I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
