I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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