She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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