I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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