so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
