I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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