TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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