What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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