the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
