Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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