I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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