i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
