Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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