i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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