That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
