she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
