drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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