I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
