I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
honey bunches of taint.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
