then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
