I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
