Whoa Z and x make the same sound
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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