shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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