that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
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