At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
