is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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