Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She told me I should be a condom model.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Who died my cat blue again?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
