don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
