I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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