what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
