She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
