he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
