i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
