Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
