i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
