You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
