i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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