But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
