Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
two words...techno handjob
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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