Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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