About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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