So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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