please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
