Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
