you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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