I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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