Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize