she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
he's single and there are thong briefs.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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