PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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