I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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