Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
