just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize