so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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