you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
