he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
