What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
