So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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