drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
