I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
