Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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