i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
