My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
