Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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