Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
